DISQUS

tangerine · 6 years ago

giggle.

hil-ari-ous

streamXsonic · 6 years ago

That is incredible. Somebody's going to possibly lose and eye or something.

liz(ard) · 6 years ago

or something.

r@d@r · 6 years ago

just promise me you'll scream "YOU BASTARD! YOU BASTARD! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" that's always been a fantasy of mine.

seriously, some lucky feller's going to die a very happy man. just give me a call if you need help disposing of the body.

jadedju · 6 years ago

This may need wider distribution. Many of us could use that sort of warning.

liz(ard) · 6 years ago

and maybe if a bunch of us people with warnings got together, we could have, erm, meetings, not orgies or anything like that, just friendly get-togethers where we could ... you know, get laid. or just hang out! sure.

BaldFatGuy · 6 years ago

Ah, the deform letter. Unfortunately BFG does not need one due to the fact that even horny succubuii, do not even bother to wave back when BFG, says "pick me pick me".

So my letter is much simpler;

Please fuck me.

sign here.

Now go find some poor bastard and bend all his bits, sounds like you need it.

Blessed be. BFG

liz(ard) · 6 years ago

sadly, not one brave soul has yet stepped forward to volunteer ... assistance.

Tara · 6 years ago

Y'know, I wish I'd thought of that. The letter, I mean. Hm. Good job.

liz(ard) · 6 years ago

i was inspired while discussing my lamentable lack of a sex life with my spiritual advisor.

sillynun · 6 years ago

atta gurl.. :-)

munin · 6 years ago

amen! :o>

i think one day out of every month should be given off to potential employees as a personnel make me happy day and unable to walk for a week day. or perhaps 3. would that be asking for too much?

Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' · 6 years ago

Something of which I would have never dreamed

Someone has actually drafted a pre-coital agreement. Beware of vulgarity terms. attribution: InstaPundit...

Jett · 6 years ago

liz, baby, in case you're wondering, you've been 'Instalanched'. He got the link from my site; Sweet mother of Gaaaahd.

lizard · 6 years ago

yeah, i just installed this new PHP stat thingy that emails me every hundred hits, and the emails start coming in every fifteen minutes and by the third one, i thought damn is it broken? but no, it's working just fine.


so right now about four hundred people per hour are discovereing i'm a sex-starved pottymouthed freak.





cool, huh? d'ya think i'll get laid?

batty · 6 years ago

I'm just wondering how I could fit that onto a business card. I think it could be handy - but more importantly I think it'd make a great Christmas gift. You know, nicely printed up lil cards, maybe in a cute box... Maybe leave some fill in the blank parts... Is there anything in there about heart attacks? Because that fucker sounds like a real ball of fire. Heh. Boy you should get some more fun google hits now, huh...

deborah · 6 years ago

liz, i think i love you.

Gut Rumbles · 6 years ago

a contract

I am going to print copies of this contract and have my next hump-bunny left walking funny partner sign one

Bubba · 6 years ago

Phone number?

Dr. D. · 6 years ago

I think I would rather abstain than sign that agreement. :-)

Scipio · 6 years ago

Surely there must be a better way to protect the purity of your precious bodily fluids. Arms length negotiation may be in order.

ModularParrot · 6 years ago

Lizards...Oh My!

Liz should be on everyone's must-read short list, and this is one of her best. Parrots and Lizards. What more could you ask for? Update: I'm a stupid noob. It might help if I track to the right fuckin' link....

Mad Bull · 6 years ago

Very funny!!! Linked!

barbara · 6 years ago

that was so good! lol can i print it and give it to a certain someone? it's only 2 times too late he might appreciate. too funny.

i've been thinking though. i think what your problem might be is that you're horny. have you thought about getting laid? :)

surreally dot com · 6 years ago

state of the lizard statement.

it just occurred to me how disconnected from this place i feel. and so i thought i'd (a) re-commit to

bad samaritan · 6 years ago

silly

oh man i miss loving this place. not that i don't now, but there was a time, back when, it was mad mad mad i say crazy love. i was just going to respond to a friend making a 200th post with a tally of my contributions to various blogs (i stopped counti...

oscitant · 6 years ago

sex disclaimer

practical and sexy. I like....

dotlizard · 1 year ago

for the record

starting to feel just a little selfconscious about the thousands of people who have gotten a first impression that i am a sex-starved, pottymouthed freak -- no that's not the problem, accurate first impressions are important, i just wanted to...